Crazy e-mail I received this morning:

I know where you are. I was there. They drilled holes in my teeth. The lawn burros whisper as you walk by. Don't think that the neighbor's dogs like you -they have been told to watch your every move...Ohhhh **** the pressure. I am my cat. My girlfriend left this dollar in my shoe, so I left it in there for 3 weeks before using it to tip a bad waitress. Thebluecowmoosatmidnight. Because the Park Service is enforcing a "catch and release" policy this year, I had to let him go! I love you all, and I have to go buy some canned squid. Urgently needed... please send a road map of Idaho, a spatula, and 4 cookies.

Serious replies only, please.